The Mess multiplies....contd

My superboss’ cabin is about 25 steps away. The minute I step out of my cubicle I wish that there should be a landslide exactly on the pathway of my desk to cabin or Pakistan realizes that my AVP is their long lost brother, they suddenly conquer AVP’s cabin area under its territory and puts a LoC exactly outside his cabin door. If not all this then atleast the fire alarm!! That’s the easiest and the most possible thing to happen. False hi sahi but atleast fire drill or something. But sadly when you want any of these things to happen only then God opens the account of your bad debts. L I think god opened the accounts of the time when I copied in exams and hence punishing me today for copying the wrong attachment. I entered the cabin and as expected my immediate reporting boss – 3G (as the whole team calls him for his loyalty towards our boss just like the dog has for his master in the 3G ad of mobile network) was already present in the cabin like a soldier on LoC waiting for orders from his colonel. To open fire at me.

Generally, when I am bored of his stupid accusations, plans, targets, I just give him a stern look. A look which says I-know-what-you-did-last-summer or even better i-knw-what-you-browse-in-office-hrs. and he would be dumbstruck. I just love doing that even if its my mistake. Poor guy could not do anything but end the meeting thinking I am a lost case. But today I really was a LOST CASE.

All my imaginations did not come true and I reach AVP’s cabin without any bruise on my arm. Atleast that should have happened, the copier could be very fatal if it would fall on me while I was walking pass it. My boss saw me coming from the glass wall and before I could say “can I come in” he already opened the door. ‘So Ms. Sanjana looks like FICI has ventured into new business segment’. I don’t know what you are talking about was written all over my face. But before I could open my mouth, my boss cut me. ‘Are we in the business of human trafficking and promoting guys. Are we taking bids for this guy who worked with us?'

Now that was really funny, I was amazed by his sense of humor. Even in such wrath state, he does not forget the rules of proving to be at AVP level. The only way to do so is to forget names of your team members. And Gaurav was past he could forget his designation also. This old man knew whose photo is that and that he worked under him but here he is proving to be AVP.

‘Am sorry sir, that was by mistake’ I know sending pdf instead of excel sheet is acceptable, sending wrong plans without approval, sending excel sheets without calculations, sending research ppt as your own without deleting original author’s name is still acceptable. But sending your love interest’s photo instead of product launch plan is so not acceptable.

‘I know that’s a mistake but why that mistake? Why are you checking out the ex-employee photographs. Is that what this co. pays you for?’

‘Actually Sir, the HR dept. wanted some of our conclave photos from our off-site trip. I was just browsing for the best one….

‘And you thought this is the best one?’

(Actually yes he looks quite smart in that white and blue checked shirt, this must be surely one of his best pic.)

‘No sir, my laptop hanged while I was attaching and all the draft mails crashed. Some technical problem sir.’ I don’t know what to say. Its not making an iota of sense but I need to keep talking something otherwise these two will start. I look around the room for some help, hoping the photo would come up alive and explain its existence. Still looking- there’s magazine, tea coaster, envelopes, post it tags, laptop, switchboard, LAN cable, files. LAN- ‘Sir the LANnn…Ah.. I …mm..mean the server….the server was down and….

‘Stop it!! Please go to your desk, restart your system and concentrate on your work. If you need any help take IT support guy’s assistance and fix your problem. Also I want a pending job list from you by EOD.’

He kept looking at me which meant I had to leave. ‘Yes sir. Sure sir. I’ll mail it to you by six’. I exit the cabin leaving my boss who by now has made a complete list of errors I did in these 3 yrs be it punching the documents on the wrong side or not wishing him ‘good morning’. Am impressed by his skills of making excel sheets mentally for all the unproductive work.   

I reach my desk and before I could start my sytem, phone rang.

Extn: 1426       Name : Priyanka mathur

‘Yes Piyu…?’

Dil mein mere, khwaab tere…tasveer jaise ho deewar pe…err…tasveer jaise ho mail per…main lut gaya, maan ke kehna tera…main kahi ka na raha…gulaabi aankhen jo teri dekhi…sings Piyu stressing on word tasveer each time she repeats the line

‘Shut up!!’ And we both started giggling. ‘Acha bata what did the budhao say? and I’ll tell you what others were speculating when you were inside. Lets go de-stressing today?’

‘Ya plz, I need a dark chocolate shake desperately.’ As I finish this sentence, I can see Mahesh Jain- sr. brand manager of the team is called up to budhao’s cabin.

“Shut up, you need dark rum today”.

‘Anyways your boss is in budhao’s cabin…next in line is you. I don’t understand why doesn’t he call all of you at once and finish it at one go.’

‘Maybe he needs to learn mass mailing techniques from you. Don’t worry I’ll tell him when my turn comes’

‘Ok whatever, right now I’ve to mail job-list to budhao and ofcourse the controversial product launch plan to everyone.’

‘Hey listen, this time send my pic. I also want to get famous, send my black dress wala pic. I look slim in it' 

'SHUT UP. BYE.'

I unlock my laptop and again Gaurav’s photo is there to haunt me. I quietly close all the windows and restart my system thinking…Gaurav you’ve given me enough pain when we were together atleast now stop creating problems.

I surely need a drink today.